Anxiety in the Deep

Psalm 94:19

When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.

1 Peter 5:7
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

I stood in the shallow water, turned and plopped my bottom into the kayak. As I paddled across the lake to the deep, I found my bearings and relaxed. Until a twinge of doubt struck me. A bit of fear crept in, then anxiety tried to shake me up. What if I fell into the water? I tightened my life jacket, pulled the oar through the water, practiced the guiding technique Tim showed me and paddled deeper.

I pushed the anxiety aside. If I didn't, I'd be miserable and unable to enjoy the trip. I closed my eyes and listened to the soft sound of the water lapping against the kayak. The birds chirped, children's laughter wafted through the air. Peace settled over me. We floated for a while on the water, then paddled in against the mild waves.

Anxiety has dogged me for as long as I can remember. Several years ago a doctor diagnosed me with an anxiety disorder. Since then my brain has required meds to help the chemical imbalance that exacerbates the anxiety. Yet, I still feel anxious at times.

In an anxious moment, I pray. God has peace to pour into me. But I need to turn my fears and anxiety over and allow the Holy Spirit to work in me. In a practical sense, I have to force myself to stop and breath. Pray and believe. When I closed my eyes on the lake, my heart slowed, and I relaxed. I knew my fear was imagined. I had nothing to worry about.

So often in life, anxiety rears its ugly head. Fear overwhelms. Satan uses our weaknesses to scare us. But, my God is bigger than any anxious doubt or made up fear. He wants us to give our doubts to him. He loves us and wants to replace our anxiety with joy and peace.

Flower Friday: Peony

I have a fond memory of peonies. On Memorial Day weekend, my Grammy and I would snip the stems of the peonies growing in Mom's garden. We'd cover glass jars with foil, add water and place the fragrant flowers in the jars. Then we'd visit Grandpa, Great-grandma, and my great-uncle's graves. Gram would have me dig a small divot, to tuck the bottom of the jar into. My brother carries on this tradition that shows honor and respect. 

Under His Wings

Fiction Review: Ever Faithful (A Vintage National Parks Novel) by Karen Barnett

Description:

Vibrant historic Yellowstone National Park comes to life in this romantic mystery about a man hiding the truth, braving the west to become something more--and the woman who must confront his deception.

A man who can't read will never amount to anything--or so Nate Webber believes. But he takes a chance to help his family by signing up for the new Civilian Conservation Corps, skirting the truth about certain "requirements." Nate exchanges the harsh Brooklyn streets for the wilds of Yellowstone National Park, curious if the Eden-like wonderland can transform him as well.
   
Elsie Brookes was proud to grow up as a ranger's daughter, but she longs for a future of her own. After four years serving as a maid in the park's hotels, she still hasn't saved enough money for her college tuition. A second job, teaching a crowd of rowdy men in the CCC camp, might be the answer, but when Elsie discovers Nate's secret, it puts his job as camp foreman in jeopardy. Tutoring leads to friendship and romance, until a string of suspicious fires casts a dark shadow over their relationship. Can they find answers before all of their dreams go up in smoke?

My Review:
This is the second Vintage Park National Novel I've read, and I loved it. Karen Barnett takes the reader into the heart of the park and the story from the beginning. She adds in the research from that decade and creates an entertaining and heart-warming story. There is a bit of mystery as well as romance as Elsie and Nate figure out their futures. I enjoyed learning more about how the parks inner workings were and the people who worked in the background. The beauty of the park itself is woven into the fabric of the story. Pick up a copy for a great summer read! I received a complimentary copy of this book from WaterBrook via NetGalley. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.

From Brokenness to Beauty

Psalm 34:17-18
The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
    he delivers them from all their troubles.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
    and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Waves washed the shore as we ambled on the sand, in the morning sun.

On Kelleys Island, Tim and I searched for lake glass and colorful rocks, along their small coastal beach. I love finding pieces of glass that the waters have tumbled and refined. The bottle, or whatever the glass piece is topples into the lake. Over time the fragile piece falls against the rocks and breaks. The ebb and flow of the lake's water tosses the glass back and forth, bumping it into sand and debris, replacing the sharp, broken pieces with beauty.

When I find an ideal fragment, the jagged edges are smoothed away and a subtle, frosted sheen covers the surface.

The sharp broken edges are transformed into perfection.

Like the jagged glass, the struggle with forgiveness results in broken edges for the soul. Anger results with more sharp edges and brokenness. Life hasn't turned out how you planned. Disappointment sharpens another edge. Friends turn away, church leaves you empty, you've tumbled down a hole of sin and destruction. Rejection and hurt cause the heart to break; the sharp edges to poke and injure.  

God who formed the lakes and oceans, wants to take the broken pieces of our lives and create beauty. Sorrow, sadness, anger, sin, betrayal, hurt; he will take them all and sand off the sharp edges through grace. In that grace, he offers hope. The hope of a new life in him.

God will fill the emptiness and turn the sorrow into joy. He loves the brokenhearted and wants nothing more than to heal the wounded soul. Pray to him for forgiveness, help, and guidance. He will takes the sharp, broken edges and replace them with peace and hope.

Pray Now

Romans 15:30

I urge you, brothers and sisters, by our Lord Jesus Christ and by the love of the Spirit, to join me in my struggle by praying to God for me.

Remember when prayer chains moved across telephone lines, one person at a time? Some still do. But, now many are posted on social media. I’m concerned that the ones posted may be overlooked or forgotten. We flick through the pictures, glance at captions and comments, then move on. I think I'll remember to pray or at least write them down as I see them, but I've found the best method for me is to stop and pray at that moment. God wants me to seek him in prayer. Not just for myself, but for others. For the burdens of life, praises and joy and to bring others to salvation. He wants to hear the requests, groans and thank yous.

Even the apostle Paul asked his friends to pray for him. Packed and ready to move along on his journey, he sought out prayer warriors, who would take his needs to God.

As I write this, hundreds of people pray healing prayers to God for a dear, dear lady in our community. One who has suffered at the wretched hands of cancer. She's a light to all who know her and a joy to the children she loves. Her ministry has touched countless lives. Now she needs our prayers. Even in her suffering she loves God and continues to shine Jesus light.

Pray for Lori, her family and the friends who rally around her and love her. God is bigger than all of this.

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. James 5:16

Love this Crowder Song