What's Inside

Confined to my living room, for several days after surgery, left me too much opportunity to watch television. Since I work Monday through Friday I don’t usually view daytime television. I am happy to say that I have not missed one thing. Every show I turned on talked about improving how a person looks, mostly aimed at women. Hair color, weight loss, the right clothes, the right undergarments, the make-up, the nail polish, and on and on it went. No one spoke about how a person lives, what they think, how they feel, what they read, what they believe. The shows focused on what other people see who pass me on the street. How sad. I saw women who have anchored television talk shows for over twenty years, still trying to look twenty. My question is “What’s the point?”

God created me to grow and age gracefully. He wants me to seek is face and fill my heart with his word. Some of the most beautiful women I know wear very little to no make-up, but they have an internal glow that shines through because they are at peace with God and know his plans for their life. Some of us are overweight, but that doesn’t mean I’m not beautiful, it means I’m blessed with an abundance of food. I am really tired of the focus being on the outside and for our young women to only see what they view from the mirror. If you have influence over young women, encourage them to take care of themselves, but that the really important side of them is the inside. Fill them with love, a caring spirit, patience, peace, joy and all the attributes that create the person God wants them to be.

Rising in my Heart

The rolling hills and summer green trees welcomed my coworker, Natalie, and me to Ohio University’s campus. We traveled to Athens to attend the Ohio Library Support Staff Symposium. The trip reminded me of the many journeys I made with Tim to visit our two daughters who graduated from this wonderful institution. My memory drifted to many hugs, smiles and tears shared in both leaving them here and visiting on weekends. As I pulled on to campus I sensed a part of the past rising in my heart. We drove by Kati’s old apartment building and Maggie’s dorm. I remembered slipping into the back of Nelson Hall to visit Kati at work and lugging boxes and furniture into dorm rooms too small for occupants. In my mind I saw Maggie standing in front of her dorm waving good-bye, through tears, her first time away from home.

Years passed, the girls moved on with life and here I am missing those days when our children still belonged to us. Life changed the rules as the kids outgrew being children. What they may not know yet is that in our hearts they will always be the ones we tucked in and kissed good-night. I miss those days as much as I embrace their adulthood and love who they have become.

Good-night from Athens and God bless.

Good-bye Borders

When I heard that the baby giraffe at the Cincinnati zoo died, I almost cried. The pictures of that sweet little animal made me smile, so cute. But he was not long for this world. Yesterday, I visited the zoo with my co-workers for a staff retreat and I stopped by to see how momma and papa were doing. They looked sad and the zookeeper said they are in mourning. They miss their young one. The older I am the more death, closings, and endings weigh on me, maybe because I know I am closer to the end than the beginning now.

Yesterday, I received an email telling me that my favorite store is going out of business. Border books closes their doors after 40 years of bookselling.  A sad day for me, I did my first and only book signing at the store in Eastgate. The event manager helped me set up and allowed me, a first time author with just a segment in a Chicken Soup book to take center stage. My family surrounded me, my husband stood by me, my friends gathered and even a few people I did not know stopped by. What a great memory. So I am mourning the closing of this wonderful store where I met many kind and fun people, including the tall, young man who always gave excellent customer service and could sell an Eskimo ice. Best wishes to all the employees who provided excellent service, you will be missed.

Up, Up and Away

Since I’ve reached a certain age, the preciousness of time greets me when I wake up and reminds me to appreciate my days when I go to bed. Now that we live in a so-called empty nest, Tim and I have a bit more time to do some of the things we enjoy. And that includes pursuing activities that we’ve always wanted to do. I enjoy writing and until a few years ago, I have not taken the time to sit at my computer and peck away at the keys. What I write may never be published (except on my blogs) but I continue to pursue my dream of publishing a book someday. Along with that dream comes research for my writing.

Yesterday Tim and I drove to Middletown, Ohio where I hoped to go up in a hot air balloon. The balloon would have been tethered, meaning that it only rose a hundred or so feet in the air, but I would have experienced something new and so would Tim. The balloonists made a fine effort to accommodate us, but the wind won out. As we stood in line with hundreds of other people, we enjoyed the soft breeze blowing away the humid heat. Unfortunately, that same breeze caused safety issues with the balloons. We never did get to rise into the sky, but we did see how the balloonists prepare for flight, we watched forty or more balloons rise up to the challenge of a race and we sat amazed at the beauty of balloons lit up in the dark for the annual balloon glow. We may never get to ride in a balloon, but at least we tried. Turning fifty taught me one thing—put my fears aside and move toward my dreams.

Maybe we will even go back next year and try again. 

Watching Tow Mater

Saturday, I took my grandson Zeke to a movie. His mom warned me that he might be too young, he is right at 18 months. But never the less, I thought an air conditioned movie about colorful racing cars might just keep us cool and occupied for a few hours. Sure enough, he loved the race scenes, the cars flying after each other and he  watched anytime that lights flashed off and on. But, about half way through the movie, he crawled up on my lap and drifted off into his dreams. 


So that left me to listen to Larry the Cable Guy as he portrayed Tow Mater the Tow truck and helped out a couple of fancy spy cars. I never thought I would admit that I enjoyed watching animated cars act like people, but with that sweet little boy cuddled on my lap, trusting me to take care of him, I could have watched just about anything. I love the Grammy *Babaw side of fifty. 


*Babaw is what my grandkids call me :)

Older and Wiser?

I hear the rumble. The voice calling to me, but I'm not ready yet. It's coming ... ohhh ... another birthday. One that puts me almost to the halfway point, the one that holds me closer to 50 than 60. Oh yes, next week I will be blessed with 54 years on this earth. When I think about everything that I have experienced in these years, I stand amazed at the gifts from God, the lessons learned, the people loved and the mercy given.

I recently read a book called Leota's Garden  written by Francine Rivers. In the story Leota, a woman in her eighties has lived a life that tested her armor. She sacrificed when those closest to her did not even realize. She gave without taking and in the end, finally received abundant blessings. The story reminded me to love more, criticize less, think about the other person's circumstances and look to God for answers.

Hopefully, getting older means that I'm getting wiser. We'll see.

But hey--next year when I turn 55 I can eat off the senior's menu. Something to look forward to!

Maybe by 60

Since I turned 50 I've experienced a colonoscopy (and that is quite an experience), carpal tunnel surgery- both wrists, deviated septum corrective surgery and physical therapy for my back. More than one doctor encouraged me to lose weight and I cannot forget the delightful onset of perimenopause. (Did I mention that I can be sarcastic)


Today I found out that I need an MRI on my knee. Before Easter I fell over my ninety pound dog, Tater, then I went to sit down with my grandson and must have twisted my knee because I felt an excruciating pop accompanied by searing pain. Sometimes this type of injury heals itself, no such luck. So maybe the doctor knows a magic formula that will restore my crotchety old knee and send me on my way dancing and singing.  


I'm thinking that by the time I am 60 I will be patched back together, good as new. I love being an optimist.